9-11

I guess it's one of those days...you will NEVER forget where you were, and more importantly, how you felt. I was working the switchboard at the hospital. In those days we had a window and the surgery waiting room in front of us with a  TV playing. Of course everyone was in shock and I just felt scared. I had a pretty sheltered, safe life and that was the first time I really felt scared. I had no idea what it all meant and what was to come. After work seeing the lines of people at the gas stations...more fear. It still breaks my heart to think about what the people there and on the planes must have felt if I was that scared while safe in Arkansas. I am so very thankful for what all the first responders did that day and in the days following. As terrible as it was I miss how united we were as a nation at that time. ~Just remembering those who lost their lives that day and the people that loved them.~

Catch up

Dipping back into the blogging world! I didn't really get too into it before. I have a hard time thinking anyone cares about my day to day life but decided to try it again and stick with it- just for me. I want to be able to look back on the memories.

     Catch up:  In the last year we bought a house, mom and dad moved in next to us, spent lots of time with our sweet 2 year old nephew Garrett Preston, played more Rook games than I can count, lots of time with our best friends (police families), a couple road trips, work, and hunting. Tons of good memories made with my best friend who just happens to be the best husband in the world, for real.

After a LONG work week I am so looking forward to a weekend with my sweetie, lots of playing with Garrett, and a baby shower for our sweet friends, Davie, Cara, and baby Duke!

♥Our Love♥

Well, I see it's been almost a year since I've been on here. I just had an amazing 4 DAYS with my wonderful husband and it made me once again want to write down my thoughts and feelings.  
     I still wonder every day how I get to spend my life with him. I've never been the girl that needs a lot of fuss made about me but he tells me several times a day how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. We met an older lady yesterday and we both noticed how she stopped and smiled with every mention of her husband.  She spoke so highly of him and I could just see that being us in 30 years. We have a love I didn't even know existed. I know so many people that have been married years and years but haven't experienced one day of the kind of love we have. I am more thankful for our love and marriage than I could ever express. When Buddy wakes up from a dead sleep the first thing he does is look for me and say "baby I love you so much, you're my everything". He is just so precious to me and he makes me want to be a better wife and a better person. 
    Doing things for my husband shouldn't be a job or a burden, it's what God created me to do! It's an amazing feeling to see God's big plan for my life so clearly when for so long I had no idea what was in store. God designed Buddy just for me and me just for him. I was made to be his wife, his safe place, his helper....and there is nothing I'd rather be. 

~FaMiLy~

I've been so excited about moving home but in the back of my mind and deep in my heart I have been so worried. Worried that Buddy is only doing it for me. Worried that he will resent me later if he doesn't like his new job. Worried that if something happens to him at his new job I will blame myself, etc.
This week has calmed my nerves, thank you Lord! Buddy has been on vacation all week and we have stayed at mom and dad's (where we'll be living until we find a house). He has spent 3 days fishing with my uncle. Yesterday I got a text that said "I love living here and I love you". That made my day. I love to see him so happy and know that he is finally getting to have some fun. Today he called me and said "I love living here and I love how everyone in your family calls me "son" or "nephew". I am so thankful that he loves my family and so thankful I have such a wonderful family that loves him just like they do me.
The Lord has blessed me so much with my family, my wonderful husband, and always calming my fears and taking away my worries. Giving God all the glory!

A Work in Progress...

This might be a long one... I'm embarrassed to even write it but I'm hoping it may help to get all my feelings out, and possibly will help someone else.
First of all, a facebook post I made a few months ago after learning of the loss of a police officer I knew of:

"All the tragedy that has happened lately is really weighing on my heart. I had a breakdown when I took a load of Buddy's uniforms out of the dryer tonight. What if I could never wash them again? What if I could never see him walk through the door with that smile on his face saying "Hey sweetheart"..just the thought is almost more than I can stand. I am incredibly blessed but I know my life could change in a second. Praying for my husband and his brothers in blue tonight and all the family and friends of the fallen officer. I hope I never have to know that pain. God be with them."

I have the thought several times a day that it could be the last time I see or talk to my husband. Something could happen to any of us at any time, and I have always been one that realizes that, but for some reason, it crosses my mind so often now. I know it has a lot to do with his job being more dangerous than most, knowing a police officer dies in the line of duty every 53 hours, and also just having such a perfect husband, which I never expected to have, so I feel like something is going to happen. Life can't possibly stay this wonderful forever, right?

I don't think I could possibly love Buddy more than I do, yet every day I fall more in love with him. He is absolutely the most wonderful, sweet, giving, kind, loving, hard-working man I've ever known. I really try to cherish every second with him. I could stare at his face all day and just breathe him in. So here's where my problem comes in: Even thinking about all these things daily, I still get SO mad and irritated at the smallest things. I realize everyone's spouse does things that irritate them, that's just life, but I don't want to live our lives this way. Every time he leaves a glass on the nightstand, or throws his clothes BESIDE the laundry basket, etc. I get so angry, then 1 minute later I feel terrible for griping at him and think how much I would miss seeing those things if he weren't here anymore. It's a constant cycle that is making me insane! I am working so hard to get it under control and really "not sweat the small stuff". Life really is too short. I have a husband that loves me so much, is crazy about me no matter how I look or what I do, that I can trust, and that I love more than I ever knew was possible. It doesn't really matter about a glass or some clothes. What matters is cherishing every second the Lord blesses us by allowing us to be together here on earth, and then in Heaven. What matters is being thankful every time I get to clean up his messes because so many wives don't have that luxury anymore.

So baby, next time I freak out over the smallest little thing, just know that I will immediately regret it and that you are my life, my heart, my everything. I love you more than words can say and I promise I will keep working on my faults. Thank you for loving me when I'm not easy to love. You have my heart forever.

Vacation 2013

Well, my 1st trip to Florida was definitely a success. I'm ready to go back! Buddy & I took mom with us and we all had a wonderful time. I am so thankful for the time we were able to spend with the Hofstad's. They are a wonderful, loving family. Buddy's cousin graduated high school and we were able to attend her graduation. She is a sweet, beautiful girl with a bright future ahead of her. The beach was AMAZING! We definitely made some wonderful memories and enjoyed our time together, and with our family.  We are already planning our next trip. Looking forward to more trips and making more memories in the future with my wonderful husband.

More good news!!!

Yay!!! Buddy has another interview with White County Thursday! God is continuing to bless us and work in our lives. We are undeserving but so, so thankful. We'll be in prayer that His will be done, and, as always, I'll be asking for His protection and guidance over my sweet husband.

In 8 days we will be on a much needed vacation and spending some time with the Hofstad side of the family. Again, thankful for God always providing and blessing us.