I've been so excited about moving home but in the back of my mind and deep in my heart I have been so worried. Worried that Buddy is only doing it for me. Worried that he will resent me later if he doesn't like his new job. Worried that if something happens to him at his new job I will blame myself, etc.
This week has calmed my nerves, thank you Lord! Buddy has been on vacation all week and we have stayed at mom and dad's (where we'll be living until we find a house). He has spent 3 days fishing with my uncle. Yesterday I got a text that said "I love living here and I love you". That made my day. I love to see him so happy and know that he is finally getting to have some fun. Today he called me and said "I love living here and I love how everyone in your family calls me "son" or "nephew". I am so thankful that he loves my family and so thankful I have such a wonderful family that loves him just like they do me.
The Lord has blessed me so much with my family, my wonderful husband, and always calming my fears and taking away my worries. Giving God all the glory!
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
A Work in Progress...
This might be a long one... I'm embarrassed to even write it but I'm hoping it may help to get all my feelings out, and possibly will help someone else.
First of all, a facebook post I made a few months ago after learning of the loss of a police officer I knew of:
"All the tragedy that has happened lately is really weighing on my heart. I had a breakdown when I took a load of Buddy's uniforms out of the dryer tonight. What if I could never wash them again? What if I could never see him walk through the door with that smile on his face saying "Hey sweetheart"..just the thought is almost more than I can stand. I am incredibly blessed but I know my life could change in a second. Praying for my husband and his brothers in blue tonight and all the family and friends of the fallen officer. I hope I never have to know that pain. God be with them."
I have the thought several times a day that it could be the last time I see or talk to my husband. Something could happen to any of us at any time, and I have always been one that realizes that, but for some reason, it crosses my mind so often now. I know it has a lot to do with his job being more dangerous than most, knowing a police officer dies in the line of duty every 53 hours, and also just having such a perfect husband, which I never expected to have, so I feel like something is going to happen. Life can't possibly stay this wonderful forever, right?
I don't think I could possibly love Buddy more than I do, yet every day I fall more in love with him. He is absolutely the most wonderful, sweet, giving, kind, loving, hard-working man I've ever known. I really try to cherish every second with him. I could stare at his face all day and just breathe him in. So here's where my problem comes in: Even thinking about all these things daily, I still get SO mad and irritated at the smallest things. I realize everyone's spouse does things that irritate them, that's just life, but I don't want to live our lives this way. Every time he leaves a glass on the nightstand, or throws his clothes BESIDE the laundry basket, etc. I get so angry, then 1 minute later I feel terrible for griping at him and think how much I would miss seeing those things if he weren't here anymore. It's a constant cycle that is making me insane! I am working so hard to get it under control and really "not sweat the small stuff". Life really is too short. I have a husband that loves me so much, is crazy about me no matter how I look or what I do, that I can trust, and that I love more than I ever knew was possible. It doesn't really matter about a glass or some clothes. What matters is cherishing every second the Lord blesses us by allowing us to be together here on earth, and then in Heaven. What matters is being thankful every time I get to clean up his messes because so many wives don't have that luxury anymore.
So baby, next time I freak out over the smallest little thing, just know that I will immediately regret it and that you are my life, my heart, my everything. I love you more than words can say and I promise I will keep working on my faults. Thank you for loving me when I'm not easy to love. You have my heart forever.
First of all, a facebook post I made a few months ago after learning of the loss of a police officer I knew of:
"All the tragedy that has happened lately is really weighing on my heart. I had a breakdown when I took a load of Buddy's uniforms out of the dryer tonight. What if I could never wash them again? What if I could never see him walk through the door with that smile on his face saying "Hey sweetheart"..just the thought is almost more than I can stand. I am incredibly blessed but I know my life could change in a second. Praying for my husband and his brothers in blue tonight and all the family and friends of the fallen officer. I hope I never have to know that pain. God be with them."
I have the thought several times a day that it could be the last time I see or talk to my husband. Something could happen to any of us at any time, and I have always been one that realizes that, but for some reason, it crosses my mind so often now. I know it has a lot to do with his job being more dangerous than most, knowing a police officer dies in the line of duty every 53 hours, and also just having such a perfect husband, which I never expected to have, so I feel like something is going to happen. Life can't possibly stay this wonderful forever, right?
I don't think I could possibly love Buddy more than I do, yet every day I fall more in love with him. He is absolutely the most wonderful, sweet, giving, kind, loving, hard-working man I've ever known. I really try to cherish every second with him. I could stare at his face all day and just breathe him in. So here's where my problem comes in: Even thinking about all these things daily, I still get SO mad and irritated at the smallest things. I realize everyone's spouse does things that irritate them, that's just life, but I don't want to live our lives this way. Every time he leaves a glass on the nightstand, or throws his clothes BESIDE the laundry basket, etc. I get so angry, then 1 minute later I feel terrible for griping at him and think how much I would miss seeing those things if he weren't here anymore. It's a constant cycle that is making me insane! I am working so hard to get it under control and really "not sweat the small stuff". Life really is too short. I have a husband that loves me so much, is crazy about me no matter how I look or what I do, that I can trust, and that I love more than I ever knew was possible. It doesn't really matter about a glass or some clothes. What matters is cherishing every second the Lord blesses us by allowing us to be together here on earth, and then in Heaven. What matters is being thankful every time I get to clean up his messes because so many wives don't have that luxury anymore.
So baby, next time I freak out over the smallest little thing, just know that I will immediately regret it and that you are my life, my heart, my everything. I love you more than words can say and I promise I will keep working on my faults. Thank you for loving me when I'm not easy to love. You have my heart forever.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Vacation 2013
Well, my 1st trip to Florida was definitely a success. I'm ready to go back! Buddy & I took mom with us and we all had a wonderful time. I am so thankful for the time we were able to spend with the Hofstad's. They are a wonderful, loving family. Buddy's cousin graduated high school and we were able to attend her graduation. She is a sweet, beautiful girl with a bright future ahead of her. The beach was AMAZING! We definitely made some wonderful memories and enjoyed our time together, and with our family. We are already planning our next trip. Looking forward to more trips and making more memories in the future with my wonderful husband.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
More good news!!!
Yay!!! Buddy has another interview with White County Thursday! God is continuing to bless us and work in our lives. We are undeserving but so, so thankful. We'll be in prayer that His will be done, and, as always, I'll be asking for His protection and guidance over my sweet husband.
In 8 days we will be on a much needed vacation and spending some time with the Hofstad side of the family. Again, thankful for God always providing and blessing us.
In 8 days we will be on a much needed vacation and spending some time with the Hofstad side of the family. Again, thankful for God always providing and blessing us.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Good News!!!
Today was a step closer to moving home!!! White County Sheriff's Department called Buddy!!! I am SO happy about this. Sounds like a great place to work, and... EVERY OTHER WEEKEND OFF!!!! We are praying he gets this job and we get to move asap. He is the best officer I've ever known and I know he will do a great job.
I also have to say that he had some great friends of ours and mom and dad's for references. We appreciate them so much. It means so much to me that my mom and dad are well known and loved in the community where I grew up and where we want to live. They have always been hard-working and would do anything for anyone. I'm thankful for them and our friends who are the same way! Blessed!!!
Kenny Chesney's song 'Back Where I Come From' comes to mind! I've always said it's about Providence... where I'll be when it's said and done!
I also have to say that he had some great friends of ours and mom and dad's for references. We appreciate them so much. It means so much to me that my mom and dad are well known and loved in the community where I grew up and where we want to live. They have always been hard-working and would do anything for anyone. I'm thankful for them and our friends who are the same way! Blessed!!!
Kenny Chesney's song 'Back Where I Come From' comes to mind! I've always said it's about Providence... where I'll be when it's said and done!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Our life as of now...
We moved to Stuttgart a year ago. Two and a half months ago I quit my job I had been at for 12 years and took a job here. I haven't adjusted well, and that's putting it mildly. My heart hurts and my stomach is in a knot daily. I am so ready to move "home". Thankfully, God has put it on Buddy's heart as well and his applications are in, so we are one step closer.
A little about my husband: I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much. I didn't know there were actually men in the world that were so loving, giving, easy-going, hard-working, etc. He is my best friend, a wonderful provider, my whole world. I really don't think I could take one breath in this world without him, and I know I wouldn't want to. I don't know why God chose to bless ME with HIM, but I am so thankful every day that He did.
A little about my husband: I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much. I didn't know there were actually men in the world that were so loving, giving, easy-going, hard-working, etc. He is my best friend, a wonderful provider, my whole world. I really don't think I could take one breath in this world without him, and I know I wouldn't want to. I don't know why God chose to bless ME with HIM, but I am so thankful every day that He did.
Just getting started...
I decided to start a blog because I want to record our life together. Facebook has been taken over with quotes, ecards, and recipes. I am guilty of it too. God has blessed me so much more than I deserve with an AMAZING husband and I don't want to forget one second of our life together. So, this is our journey...
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